If you have a particular objective to achieve in speaking to someone are you ready for that conversation? So whether you are going to a network event or talking to one of your customers, suppliers here are some of my tips on getting the most out of those conversations:

- Always have your research done on the person, company you are going to approach. Look at their website, talk to others in same industry, similar role.  Find out about the industry, whats driving the industry, whats changing the industry. Who are their competitors, what are they doing.

- Listen out for tones in the voice of the person you are speaking to. Are they interested, busy, bored, engaged? React to their tone . For instance if they sound busy then ask them is there a better time to talk? If they sound bored then you need to engage them more. Ask more questions about themselves & their business & the challenges they face.

- Check your own tone of voice, is it energetic, interested, happy?

- Use same language as they are using , use their speak. If you do not understand the words they are using then ask what that word means e.g. “It was interesting”  Question back “What specifically was interesting about it?”  “Why was that interesting for you”? This helos you better understand specifically what was interesting for them.

- Check who is doing the most talking. If you are doing most of it then how does other person feel & if you are trying to find out information about them why are you doing the most talking?

- Empathise where appropriate. If a person is telling you something negative about their business then symapathise, share a similar story with them, showing them that you understand.

- Summarise back to the person to ensure you understand. “Just to clarify my understanding………is that correct”.

- Gain agreement from the other person on your understanding being correct plus on the next actions.

If you do all this then conversations for you & your customers will become more meaningful. It was also enable you to move closer to that person & build stronger relationships. Remember if you are really listening to what they are saying you will follow up on the actions that have come out from that conversation.

For me one of the first indicators of someone really listening & interested in finding out what are your needs , is whether they ask you questions.  I wasn’t asked one question of what I was looking for, did I have children,  a dog, or why did I need a large booth? He did ask me one question about my current mileage.  I am interested in a diesel car (as my travelling is increasing) but he tried to persuade me that I didn’t need a diesel car.  I am actively searching & open to other models but the sales person did not take advantage of that at all.  He focused on the one car that I enquired about on walking into forecourt. He assumed alot.

For me, listening is actively engaging with the customer to hear what s/he is saying & asking relevant questions to find out what they are not saying. Next time you think you are listening, check if you really are listening to what the other person is saying  or are you just waiting for your turn to talk.

I came across this clip in relation to this subject & thought it was worthwhile sharing with you. Magic of storytelling in business.

Before I began the study of human relations, I would have told this man that if he refused to give the bank this information , we would have to refuse to accept this account. I resolved this morning to use a bit of sense. I resolved not to talk about what the bank wanted but about whathe,  the customer wanted. And above all else I was determined to get him saying ‘yes, yes’ from the very start. So I agreed with him. I told him the information he refused to give was not absolutely necessary. “However”, I said,  “suppose you have money in this bank at your death.  Wouldn’t you like to have the bank transfer it to your next of kin?”

“Yes, of course” he replied. “Don’t you think”, I continued, “that it would be a good idea to give us the name of your next of kin so that , in the event of your death we could carry out your wishes without delay?” Again he said  “yes”.

“The young man’s attitude softened & changed when he realised that we weren’t asking for this information for our sake but for his sake. Before leaving the bank, this young man not only gave me complete information about himself but he opened, at my suggestion, a trust account , naming his mother as the beneficiary for this account”.

I found that by getting him to “yes, yes” from the outset , he forgot the issue at stake & was more than happy to do all the things I suggested.”